Nobody cares about your body!

Nobody cares about your body!

I went swimming with the kids and husband last week. Not a big deal I hear you cry! Well no, not in the grand scheme of life, but swimming pool changing rooms and young children literally fill me with dread. Also the general ‘please don’t let the kids drown’ and ‘what if someone shits in the pool?’ worries, it just makes for a stressful event, for me anyway!

However, we wanted to go as the kids bloody LOVE it, and we haven’t been since Centre Parcs in Oct last year. Husband had a day off in half term, so off we went.

Prior to this the thoughts that ran through my head that I’m sure aren’t too odd for a mother of 3, I need to shave some of my body before I can bare myself in a swimming costume. It’s February and my legs, armpits and pubic region aren’t fit for public viewing. Also I am pale and flabby and very much in the hide myself phase of being overweight.

I had a serious word with myself and thought rationally about it – I thought to myself, who in their right mind is going to be looking at me close enough to see if I have hairy legs? I’m already carrying more weight than I am comfortable with – so I don’t feel good in a costume, but I want to go and have fun with my kids, and do I really CARE if anyone thinks I’m fat? No. Does my pubic region really need butchering, considering my costume is very low legged and covers everything anyway? No. Do my armpits need shaving? Yes, I think they do, but I shaved them for ME because I wanted to, not through fear of being judged.

So off we went, I had stubbly legs, pale skin, unpainted toe nails, more weight than I am comfortable with and boobs that have seen better days. For the first time ever, I just didn’t give a shit. My priorities for this were making sure my kids were safe, making sure they had fun and making sure I wasn’t worrying about the aesthetics of my body in the process. Who was looking at me? No-one. And if they were, so what? Let them look, and let them have an opinion but the bottom line is I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

We had a great time, I felt happy and confident and the kids loved it.

I’m not suggesting I don’t prefer myself a bit more tanned, with smooth legs and a perfectly preened lady area. Those things are great and would have made me feel wonderful. However I sort of made peace with the fact that I am human, I am a mum of 3 and I need to let go of worrying about what other people think – because all I care about is how I feel. You can’t plan for everything and actually, I don’t want to spend hours beautifying myself for other people’s approval, only when I want to do it for me! Life is too short to not do things because you think your body isn’t ‘worthy’ of being seen. My body is just that – MINE and I shall do with it what I please.

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50 Shades of Grey Hair.

50 Shades of Grey Hair.

Why do people insist on telling me that I have grey hair? I have a mirror, I have eyes and I am fully aware that I have a lot of grey hair for a 30 year old. I’ve had grey hair since my late teens. I found my first grey on the school bus age 12. I’m sure the kids have added a few (thousand) to the collection, too. Do these people that tell me think I haven’t noticed that my hair looks like someone’s thrown talcum powder over it?

I have naturally dark brown hair. I colour it regularly, to cover the greys. However lately within 3 or 4 days of colouring it, the greys are already re-appearing. I can’t really do much about it. I can’t dye it every 3 or 4 days and wouldn’t want to anyway. I don’t love it, but I don’t see it as a major big deal. I have a patch of grey and a sort of ‘salt and pepper’ type grey along my parting and at the front of my hairline. I’m going to invest in some magic colour root spray that my friend told me about, so I can touch up the roots without having to dye my whole thick mane of hair.

I just don’t understand why people feel the need to comment on it. I know it doesn’t look great. I wouldn’t chose to have it. It’s a natural ageing thing that we all will have to deal with, but clearly┬áI have had early grey. People constantly comment on it, or keep glancing at my hairline whilst talking to me. I know it’s there. There is no need to tell me I’ve got a lot of grey. I know.

So if you are that person who has a friend, colleague, family member, or someone who has a lot of grey, please don’t point it out. It’s kind of like saying someone has a lot of spots, has gained/lost weight, or has bad teeth. It’s not kind to point out someone’s flaws.