Things we all think when having a massage…

Things we all think when having a massage…

  1. Where do I put my bag? Oh no am I getting undressed too slow, is she going to walk in and catch me with my boobs out? Where shall I put my clothes? Is there CCTV in here… is someone watching me get undressed?
  2. What if I need to pass wind? Please don’t let me fart during this. Oh God, I’m going to fart, it’s coming, what do I do? Shall I ask to go to the toilet? Shit. Help the fart is going to come out…..  I am literally going to fart right now. Oh thank the lord.. I think it’s subsiding! Phew close one.
  3. Is she judging me? Does she think I’m fat? Do I smell? Has she noticed my weird skin tag/mole/birthmark? What’s she thinking? Does she hate me?
  4. She could literally kill me right now I am so vulnerable. I am lying here covered in oil half naked with my eyes closed, I hope no-one tries to kill me.
  5. Relax, relax, she isn’t looking at you..she does this all day, it’s her job! Relax it’s fine, this is enjoyable….
  6. WOW I’m too relaxed I think I just fell asleep… did I snore? Am I dribbling? What’s going on… where am I? Does she know I was asleep? I’m so relaxed right now I don’t want to leave. It’s quite possible I farted whilst I was asleep. Fuck!
  7. Is it nearly over? I wonder how much time has gone by, am I halfway through yet?
  8. Has she left the room? Shall I open my eyes and look or is it best to keep them closed… will she think I’m weird?
  9. Is there a bogey hanging out of my nose? What do I do?
  10. Her hands are like magic, this is amazing, why don’t I have this done more often? Like every other day.
  11. It smells so good in here, and the music is wonderful, this is like the best day ever…

    What thoughts go through your mind when having a massage / facial / beauty treatment?


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